WHEELZ 104.5 Comedy Night at the State Theatre presents…
“Bob & Tom Show comics Donnie Baker and Dave Dyer“
When: Saturday, February 20, 2016
Where: State Theatre in Saginaw
Buy Your Tickets HERE!
Donnie Baker
Due to the fact I’m still on probation much of my background is sealed in Court 7. I swear to god it is. You can look it up but good luck getting access because the new judge is a dick and I’d say it right to his face thru a privacy fence. Again! A lot of people think my Mom Phyllis is my real mom. Well, she ain’t! She’s the one who basically raised me from a little bad ass in adult diapers because I was born with a condition called “Pork-a-phatitis.” Let’s just say my pork sword needed more leg room and regular pull ups wouldn’t fit me. I wasn’t even able to do regular push ups until my arms grew out when I was 14 years old. I was raised in a strip club named XXXandues when my Mom Phyllis (Sheena/Vegas/Champagne) basically ran the place. And she made more money in one summer with a broke arm than most the other girls put together. And she couldn’t even push her boobs together like they could. So you know she’s fire ass hot! I got my first boat when I was 17 years old. I’ve had 4 boats since including the one I’m trying to sell. When I do sell it, I’m going to get a bigger boat, so take that Mitchell. The worst place to be in life is between boats. I’ve been there too many times and I swear to god I’m never going back to that dark place. I love my boat and hate to see it go. But I’ll never sell my 7 trophies which are still in the front window at Discount Karate. I probably know more about the marshal arts than anybody I know of! My best friend for life is Scotty Winkler. Scotty is good people and the only honest, friend I can truly trust. I can’t wait until he gets out. Me and Scotty have been with more hot girls than anybody I know of. He was the one who introduced me to Angel Skinners. And I was the one who told him about Patty Fergusons. Looking back it’s kind of like the circle of life because now I’m with Patty and he’s been with Angel. I know. Twilight zones. Scotty is also the only other friend I have who really understands what its like to live and think like the harvest wolf. Welcome to the pack Scotty!
Dave Dyer
Well here we are…another awkward bio from a comedian. I could loft the usual tidbits at you…”Here’s who I’ve opened for”…”Here’s where I started”…”I ALWAYS wanted to be a comedian”. The hope in revealing those kind of details is that it would add some legitimacy to my being, but no matter what I give you, you’re not going to lose OR gain any sleep. Here’s what you want to know…am I funny? Yes…I’m damn funny. Am I Jerry Seinfeld funny? I think so, at times, although I’ll bet you he’d have a different answer. I started doing stand up when I was 24. I’ve never made the move to the “big city”. Would that have helped my career? What do you think? However, I chose to stay in Michigan so we could raise our daughters in an environment that would keep them from wanting breast implants for their birthday when they turned 8. I’m not going to over-pump myself…I’m a good comedian with good material. It’s not for everybody (see Birmingham, AL), but it’s for a lot of people. I’m proud of what I do and I don’t pine over the couple of people in the crowd who don’t like me…I gave up on those a-holes years ago. Understand something about life…not everyone is going to have twinkle in their eye when you walk in the room, so keep walking and don’t waste your time on the non-twinklers. Just get to one of my shows and judge for yourself. I mean, look at the quality of this website…you know the tickets are cheap.
